Monday, May 22, 2006

Zeus maxi-relaxin'

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Thursday, May 18, 2006

People sometimes well and truly suck.

I know I haven't posted here in a very long time. Forgive me. Even now I'm only posting because I'm in shock at how much people suck. Ready for a silly story? Okay....here goes......and ISIANMTU (I Swear I Am Not Making This Up for you non-Dave fans)...

About a month or so ago, I started dating a person. This dating could be described best as mostly casual. We had talked about it letting it progress at it's own pace....mainly because she was just getting out of a long term relationship and I've been working some pretty long hours. Also, I was also going slowly because she's only 27 years old, but seemed....wait, let me emphasis that....seemed to have something of a head on her shoulders. I emphasised this as it will come into play later in this story.

Last Friday I left work and went to a local pub where they have karaoke every Friday. After being there for a very short time, I recieved a text message from this girl that I have been dating....we'll call her....um...Niwi....short for Nitwit. So, anyhow, Niwi texts me asking where I am. I sent a reply and told her was at the Pub. She called then and asked me to get a table for her, her girlfriend she was bringing, and myself. I did thus, and took the liberty of ordering them a beverage. While waiting, I told a friend (we'll call him Dumas for now)that I had been talking with before the phone call to come to the table, as Niwi's friend was single and I knew he hadn't had much in the way of dates lately. He did and Niwi and her friend arrived. We all chatted, had some drinks and fun was had by all. Dumas talked to Niwi's friend, but when it was time to leave, it was apparent that they really didn't hit it off well. I left with Niwi and her friend. Dumas stayed for last call.

Fast forward to yesterday. Shortly after I get to work, Niwi calls me. She wants to know if there was any possibility that I would be getting out of work early to meet her at a local restuarant that also has a bar with Wednesday night karaoke. I told her that the earliest I would be able to leave would be 11 pm, but that I would meet her then if she wanted. She told me that if she decided not to go, she would text me or call me.

I get off work at 11ish and head to this place. I walk in and stop by the bar to order a beverage. As I'm waiting for my beer, out of the corner of my eye I see Dumas walk past behind me heading away from the restrooms towards the tables. I spoke his name loudly and was surprised when he kind of ducked around a group of people and continued on in the direction he was going. So, I got my beer and headed in the direction he went. As I rounded the end of the bar, I saw him sitting next to Niwi at a table with Niwi's friend Maya that had introduced Niwi and I, and Maya's boyfriend (who, incidentally I had introduced to Maya, even though I didn't really know him). I walked up to the table and was greeted warmly be all there and recieved a kiss and a hug from Niwi. I sat on the end of the table not wanting to have everyone play musical chairs. Small talk ensued, drinks were consumed.

It became apparent shortly that the waitress assigned to our table wasn't in the right career and I went to get another round for the table. Because that's the kinda guy I am. As I was getting up, I noticed that Niwi's body position was such that it seemed as if she had her hand on Dumas' thigh. As I walked towards the bar, I ruminated on this for a moment....then dismissed it as my mind playing tricks on me. I ordered the round and returned to the table.

Holy crap! Niwi had her hand on the small of Dumas' back.

Wait, this could still be innocent. Really, it could...like maybe she was sticking a "Kick Me" sign there for a really good practical joke and just was off target....really off target it soon became apparant.

I sat back down and took a swig of my beer. I then said to myself, "Self, this couldn't possibly be happening......could it?" For that, I had no answer.

I stood up, excused myself to see a man about a horse, just to give myself a moment. Upon my return, lo, what do my eyes behold? Niwi and Dumas are now making out!

Holy stab in the back, Batman! I sat down in my chair heavily. After they finished taste testing each others lunch from Tuesday of last week, they commenced to talking with one another as if I wasn't 1.58742 feet away. Nobody at that table even seemed to act as this thing just happened.

Just then, our errant waitress stopped by...earning her the $10 tip I left for her just by that moment in itself. I ordered 2 beers for myself. She brought my beers quickly...I think noticing the look on my face....a mixture of dumbfoundedness and disbelief with a spritz of ire. I sat there drinking my two beers....one in each hand.

When I finally felt like I would be able to find my way out of the place, I stood up and turned to Maya and her boyfriend and bid my adeiu. Maya asked me, "What? But it's still early! Why are you leaving?" My reply was, "That's probably the most idiotic question I've heard in 20 years or more." As I turned to leave, Niwi jumps up and motions for me to give her a hug. I sidestepped her, dismissed the hand Dumas had proffered for a handshake and made my way out the door.

BTW, if you haven't figured it out by now, I'm pronouncing Dumas as dumb-ass....just so you know.

As I drove home, I found myself repeating the phrase "That did not just happen.......that did not just happen."

As a matter of fact, I just repeated it now.


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