Saturday, June 26, 2004


My friend's wife has a band. They played at a bar tonight (last night?) and I jumped up on stage and sat in for a few songs. The thing is, I was talking to a girl before that and I thought that we were kinda clicking. Well, two songs into the set, a young lady came up and made a song request. She came to me and asked if we could sing a country song by Garth Brooks called " In Another's Eyes". Well, I know the song and have sung it before so I said "Yes, we'll play it" and smiled at her. Well, the girl I was talking to got mad at that and left, but not before her friend came and told me that she was mad at me.


Well, after talking to two fantastic ladies later in the evening, I was told that me smiling at the requester was a no-no. That me smiling at her was akin to something like making out with her right there in front of the other girl. Well, now I know. So, maybe next time I won't smile at the other girl.I never knew my smile had that power.

But next time, maybe I should go ahead and make out with her.

Her boyfriend or husband might have had some issues with that though.


Tuesday, June 22, 2004


I think that I cooked my brain.

It goes wonderfully with early peas and a nice cabernet sauvignon.

No, not really....at least I don't think it does.

Anyway, Sunday morning, I went golfing. The sun came out and I figured that I would get some sun on my head. It had been pasty white after the shave job. After that I worked on sanding a truck that my friend Dennis is getting ready for his son.

In the sun.

I ran Monday morning with no hat or shirt.

In the sun.

Yesterday afternoon my head started getting somewhat tender to the touch.

I might be wrong, but I think I should have used some sunscreen.

So now instead of shining like a street light, it shines like a stop light.

If I don't shave it tomorrow, it'll look just like a fuzzy peach.

I wonder if my brain has taken on the form of a peach pit.

Naw, it's probably more like an apple seed in a 55 gallon drum.


Friday, June 18, 2004


That's right.


Everyone has one. It is target specific. Some folks are just more practiced in the deployment of it.

Most married guys have it set on automatic. Game is on, beers cold, chip bowl is full. Kicking back enjoying the show.

From the other side of the house: honey can you come here for a sec?

Man: Glug.....boy, great game!

From the other side of the house: honey, I need your help!

Man: Hmmm....beers getting low.......

Right next to Man's ear: I SAID I NEED YOUR HELP!

Man: SPPPPPHHHHHHttttttttt........

And the guy is laying on the floor soaked in beer and covered in half chewed chip fragments, wondering why he just got hollered at.

But there is other times that the Ignore Button is used. When dealing with Trolls on an internet bulletin board. When you have politicians speaking. (Fill in other reasons here).

Then there is when someone is mad at you for something and they handle it by hitting their Ignore Button with your name on it.

I really hate it when someone stabs their Graz button. Especially if I don't know the reason for it being utilized. Shoot, I do stupid things all the time. Let me know what I did wrong. I will apologize. Really, it's easy for me. I have practiced it many times. At least say why I'd be wasting my breath speaking to the person.

But, when that happens to me for what I think is no reason whatsoever, I just return in kind. I will then hit my corresponding button.

Although, when the person that has me on Ignore thinks that I have suffered enough and takes me off Ignore, it's usually too late.

Because when I hit my button for that person, I jammed a screwdriver in 'er and drove it in to the hilt with a hammer.

That sucker ain't comin' back out.


Ahhh, yes. Stress. The feeling of wanting to braid a persons nose hairs to their eyebrows and play Beethoven's String Trio #1 in Eb using those hairs while playing Wipeout on their skull.

Career choice is the biggest factor for stress in a person's professional life. Those prestigious jobs with the great salary are usually the positions that have the greatest amount of stress as a condition of employment. I am petitioning Webster to change the definition of prestige in his book to What you trade for your sanity. He hasn't answered me yet.

I started off life as a mechanic. That's not to say I was born with wrenches in hand, that would have been painful for Mom. It's just that as far back as I can remember, I have always taken things apart to see how they work, and then re-assembled them. The re-assembly part of that started out kind of badly, but I did get better with age. This is a very good thing, because Dad would get slightly upset when he'd get home from a long day at work, and something was in pieces on the garage floor. I was usually the next thing in pieces then.

What I'm trying to say is that I have always been very good with my hands, and visualizing how things work. Give me a load of lumber and I can, and have built a house. I have built machines with my hands that can create photo quality printing on cardboard. If it's electrical, I can wire it. If it's brick, I can build a wall. If it's pipe, I can make it flush.

Er, toilet.....flush....well, you get the picture.

The thing is, every job I've had, I've become a supervisor of some level or another. This is where the stress rears it's pimply, misshapen head. For those who haven't been a boss or supervisor before, let me tell you, it's not the great deal that you may think. It's not telling everyone what to do and then hitting the coffee pot.

There's also doughnuts involved. Wait, no, not really.

It's like being a pre-school teacher. Getting everyone to play nice and not steal each others milk. Then you have to get them to color inside the lines. There's other things also, but at least they're potty trained.

I think.

So, with all of this goofy stuff that I deal with, I decomstress on my way home from work. I turn up the stereo in my truck and drive the backroads home.


Er..not really that fast, Mom.

(Psst....don't tell my Mom, but kinda fast.) :)


Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Productivity Enhancement

Thanks to Dave Barry's Blog.....and Lee Foster.

Your results may vary.

Graz, you exhibit an even balance between left- and right- hemisphere dominance and a slight preference for visual over auditory processing. With a score this balanced, it is likely that you would have slightly different results each time you complete this self-assessment quiz.

You are a well-rounded person, distinctly individualistic and artistic, an active and multidimensional learner. At the same time, you are logical and disciplined, can operate well within an organization, and are sensitive towards others without losing objectivity. You are organized and goal-directed. Although a "thinking" individual, you "take in" entire situations readily and can act on intuition.

You sometimes tend to vacillate in your learning styles. Learning might take you longer than someone of equal intellect, but you will tend to be more thorough and retain the material longer than those other individuals. You will alternate between logic and impulse. This vacillation will not normally be intentional or deliberate, so you may experience anxiety in situations where you are not certain which aspect of yourself will be called on.

With a slight preference for visual processing, you tend to be encompassing in your perceptions, process along multidimensional paths and be active in your attacking of situations or learning.

Overall, you should feel content with your life and yourself. You are, perhaps, a little too critical of yourself -- and of others -- while maintaining an "openness" which tempers that tendency. Indecisiveness is a problem and your creativity may not be in keeping with your potential. Being a pragmatist, you downplay this aspect of yourself and focus on the more immediate, obvious and the more functional


Monday, June 14, 2004


Well, it's that time of year........Kojak time!


Friday, June 11, 2004


Ray Charles 1930-2004
Posted by Hello


Tuesday, June 08, 2004


Some good questions here.....so let's get started!

First, Con asked these questions:

Graz! Better late than never...

1. Betty or Veronics? And why?
2. Counselor Deanna Troi or Dr. Beverly Crusher? And why?
3. Eowyn or Arwen? And why?

If you think about, the choices reveal a lot about a man.

Number 1: I would have to say Betty. Reason? Betty didn't get much attention, even though she's very pretty. And when she did get attention from Archie or Reggie, they were on the rebound from Veronica. Also, Veronica had Daddy's money and used it to control her guys. I can make my own money, thank you very much.

Number 2: Counselor Troi. I didn't watch Star Trek-TNG much, but I do have a thing for dark haired women. So, that's my only reason. Sorry, I don't have a better one than that.

And, Number 3: Arwen. See the dark haired thing above. Plus, she gave up immortality for her love of Aragorn. Not that a women should have to give up everything, but the fact that Aragorn tried to get her to live out her life in safety, she chose her love of him over all other things.


1. Creamy or Chunky?
2. Superman or Spiderman?
3. Maryann or Ginger?
punky brewster

And, now for the questions posed by the beautiful and vivacious Punky Brewster.

Number 1: Depends on what I'm using it for. Oops, sorry.

lemme pull my mind out of the gutter....here, that's better

I usually buy the creamy type. It's just because it's easier to spread, because I do like eating peanuts, cashews,and I really love smoke house almonds.

Number 2: I like Spidey better. He's haunted and is a reluctant superhero. He's not as strong as Superman, nor can he fly. But, he has used some ingenuity to help himself out. And, he still takes care of his Aunt May.

And Number 3: Definitely Maryann. Ginger used her body to get what she wants. Especially on Gilligan. Then she left the poor guy high and dry. Plus, she was too wrapped up in herself. Confidence is good. Confidence is very sexy. Narcissism is not an attractive quality in my book.

So, I don't know what these answers say about me.

Maybe I shouldn't wonder, either.

The results may be scary.


Sunday, June 06, 2004


Just when you thing the holiday season is slowing, then you see this.

By the way, tomorrow is Chocolate Cake Day and Tuesday is Name Your Poison Day.

Umm, none for me thanks.......unless you consider beer poison.

If so, yes, please!


Saturday, June 05, 2004


I get to exact my revenge! Er I mean I get to ask you questions!!

1. What's your biggest fear in life?

2. What's your biggest aspiration?

5829. What do you think is the meaning of life?

Alright....lets see here....

Number one: My biggest fear in life is hurting someone that cares for me, either through an unconscious act, or a misunderstanding in something that I said because I didn't take the time to make sure that my meaning was fully understood.

Numero dos: My biggest aspiration is make the woman with whom I end up spending my life with feel what real love can bring.

And finally, 5829: Simple. The meaning of life comes to you in the dark hours in the middle of the night, when you are laying next to the person that you love, and realizing that you love them so much, that you would give all that you have, all that you will ever have, the very next breath in your body, to try to make it so that person, the one that gives you the feeling of perfection when you are laying next to her and holding her, never ever feels a moment of pain or sadness. And whispering to her "I love you" even though you know she can't hear it. But you have to say it because you can't hold it in.

Oh, and using the word "Boing" in as many conversations as possible.


Well, MeL posted this in her blog and I asked my questions, so I guess I will post it also, as asked........

I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less.
Ask me anything you want and I will answer. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.

So, go for it....or not.....and I promise to be brutally honest....or not so brutal.......depends on the questions.

I will be brutal with myself in answering, not those of you asking said questions. I'm not a jerk.

That is all.


This pretty much sums up the "Nice guy-Dangerous guy" phenomenon that I tried to get out on my May 11th and May 12th posts.

Nicely done, Con.


Thursday, June 03, 2004


Stuff like this is why that will never be an oxymoron.


I heard this on a movie the other day. Don't remember which movie it was, some made-for-TV junker.

That doesn't matter though. The girl character in the movies made the statement that she wouldn't mind growing old as long as she had "someone to dance with" when she did grow old.

Hmmm, makes sense. That pretty much sums up the way I think about it.

But for me, I hope that it's someone who will dance with me in the deli section if the mood strikes.

Oh, and who will make sure I take my Geritol.


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